I consider myself squarely in midlife. I’ll be 45 in a couple weeks. In my mind, I qualify as not that old but not that young either. I consider one of the benefits of age to be the wisdom that comes only with experience. One of the things I’ve learned with that experience is that God’s will is always much better than Robyn’s will. It doesn’t matter what I think about it, it’s always better. There are no ifs, ands, buts, disclaimers or qualifications of any kind. It’s always better.
It is not always easy, but it is better. That’s a hard, often unpleasant, lesson to learn. I need help with that, so I regularly pray for God’s will and not mine. It requires a big heaping of courage. Courage, according to Oxford Languages, is the ability to do something that frightens one. Ask Jesus just how frightening God’s will can get. Friends, I can’t promise that we’ll see the “better” on this side of Heaven. So, I pray for courage, too.
Funny thing about that, though. I find I’m always praying for the courage to “do” something or to say “yes.” To step out and do something I believe God is asking me. Some experiences, conversations and choices in recent days have had me thinking about the active nature of that. As I began to think deeper about it, God reminded me that sometimes courage is saying, “no.” Sometimes courage means we must be different. Or choose different. Or stand alone. That is plain hard.
Jesus had the courage to say “no” when Satan was tempting Him. Daniel had the courage to say no and stand alone when the king’s law said no one could pray to God. That earned him a night in the lion’s den. Sometimes courage is not about running toward danger or even stepping out in faith to build an ark or write a book. Often it looks more like saying, “no.”
In our daily lives, courage to say “no” often looks like setting boundaries based on our convictions and sticking to them despite the cost. It can look like telling the difficult truth. It might look like saying “no” to a friend when you really would rather say “yes.” It might look like living within or even below your means, passing on the dessert, or turning down a job.
That was a real-life scenario for me not long ago. A possible job I would’ve jumped at few years ago was presented to me. That path is not where God is asking me to go right now. I said “no.” I questioned myself for a split second afterward, but I knew it my heart that was no longer the direction for me. The reward of finding the courage to say no in that case came in the form of the soul-level peace only God can provide.
When we’re doing what God asks of us – whether that involves a yes or no – the rewards come. They come as peace. They come as protection and blessings. They come in ways that we may not realize for years or maybe ever. I wonder what would have happened if Eve had said no to the apple? I’m sure I could’ve saved myself some hard days by saying no to some of the apples Satan offered me through the years.
In Matthew 5:37 (NKJ) Jesus said, “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.”
Not only is “no” a perfectly acceptable answer, often it is the right one. It isn’t always popular and seldom gets celebrated the way a courageous “yes” does. It’s not flashy or exciting and many times will take all the courage you can muster.
Do you have the courage to say “no” when it’s necessary? When it’s not the behavior, the lifestyle, or the direction God wants for you? Will you say “no” when it’s unpopular and you feel the pressure? We certainly don’t need to reach midlife before we’re presented with a situation that requires a courageous “no.” Life presents plenty of opportunities. I pray we each find the courage to say “no” when it’s time.
Photo: Jon Tyson on Unsplash
