I’ve had a busy summer so far with a pair of trips that have thrown me out of my routine and really forced me to take stock of some things. These weren’t vacations but a mission trip and a church conference. They were events that forced me to do some soul searching and deep thinking.
One of the questions that I heard posed at the conference was simply “what is your dream?” That’s always tricky for me, and I struggle still to answer it. Instead, my brain goes down the rabbit trail of what am I longing for verses what am I reaching for? What do I really want? So I find myself stewing on my motivations and desires.
What are you reaching for today? If we’re not reaching for what our souls are truly longing for, then we are going to stay dissatisfied and unhappy. This is where problems and sin live. What I wonder is how much am I longing for things that just wind up being quick fixes. Not only do they not satisfy, but often they leave me in more trouble, like a credit card compounding interest.
If we’re longing for relationship and reaching into toxic places to make it happen, we’re going to come up empty.
If we’re longing for comfort and reaching for pizza and ice cream to make it happen, we’re going to create problems for ourselves.
If we’re longing for purpose and reaching for fame or seeking the approval of others to make it happen, we’ll fall headfirst into disappointment.
If we’re longing for love and reaching for busyness, activity, and accomplishments to make it happen, it will never add up.
There are healthy ways to work toward and fulfill what we’re longing for, but then sometimes what we long for is simply unattainable. We have to do the work of separating and knowing the difference of what is a healthy, God-planted longing and what is a fleshy desire stirred up by the enemy. Thinking about it all got me wondering about what I really long for.
Do I really long for Jesus? Do I seek Him above all else? If not, I’ll always be seeking something that won’t measure up to Him. Nothing fills our hearts and souls quite like a genuine relationship with Him. I have found that I am never more content than when I am closest to Him, yet I still struggle to stay in that place. Something always comes along to try and knock me backwards.
It reminds me of someone else that struggled from time to time – Simon Peter. I heard a message recently using the text of John 21, where Peter and the disciples were out fishing in the boat and saw the resurrected Jesus on the shore. The message I heard, which was wonderful, spent a lot of time talking about what Jesus did in that passage. Notably, He told them to throw their net on the right side of the boat to catch fish, and they proceeded to catch 153. Meanwhile, He was on the shore cooking for them. He told them to, “Come and have breakfast.”
There are a lot of takeaways from this passage, but what really strikes me, though, is what Peter did. Peter had just betrayed Jesus, not just once but three times, of course. That was after he insisted that wouldn’t. Now Peter is fishing when he realizes that a resurrected Jesus is waiting for them on the shore. In verse 7, John says, “it is the Lord,” and Peter immediately puts on his outer garment and jumps in the water to swim to Jesus.
If I had betrayed a friend in such a way, I probably would have been the last one off the boat. I might have rowed in the opposite direction. I would have been avoiding eye contact, and maybe hidden behind the other disciples. Imagine the tingling nerves in the pit of your stomach when you know you’re about to own up to your mistake. My first reaction is to retreat and avoid potential conflict.
Peter didn’t do that. He wasn’t waiting for the boat to make its way to shore, he was jumping out to race ahead. The other disciples followed him in the boat. I want to long for Jesus just that way, no matter what.
I want to be so exuberant that nothing else matters; that I must jump in and race for my savior regardless of past mistakes. Perhaps Pete, having actually experienced life with Christ, knew that Jesus was the forgiving sort. Maybe he had a momentary taste of life without Him, and it changed what he truly longed for. He had to fix it. He wanted Jesus.
If you don’t know the end of the story, Peter jumps back in the boat to help unload all the fish. They have breakfast with Jesus, and when they’re done, Jesus begins to ask Peter if he loves Him. Jesus welcomes Peter back into the fold.
Jesus is what our souls truly long for because that’s how we were designed. If we’re substituting with anything else or trying to put any other desire above Him, we will always be searching for something to fill the void. Let’s check our motivation before the interest comes due.
I pray that we can face each day like Peter jumping out of that boat. Let’s leave everything else and hustle to Jesus first. He will satisfy and take care of the rest.
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