I was taking a walk last weekend when I saw a little boy, maybe about 4, riding his bike, complete with training wheels, in his driveway. He rode to the end, looked to a house across the street and then proceeded to rest his head on his arms as they were draped across the handlebars. As I approached, he looked up at me with the sincerest face, pointed to the house across the street and said, “My friend hasn’t been outside in a month.”
I know it’s an older man that lives there. I’ve got to be honest, it gutted me. Poor little guy was genuinely concerned and sad that he hadn’t seen his friend. He was giving up his play time trying to check on his friend.
I guess that encounter softened my heart. I can’t get it off my mind. The innocence, concern, and just sadness at missing his friend has sent me down the friendship road again.
The following day my youngest was baptized. My Godparents, who were my parents’ best friends, came to support him. I was freshly reminded of how important it is to have good friends. My parents’ friends putting aside their schedules to support my children moves me to tears. Mostly because it’s not a one-time thing. They support my family and my sister’s family often. They are such a tremendous example of true friendship.
I have always compared my friendships to Mom’s friendship with my Godmother. Maybe that’s unfair. Watching their relationship all my life – through all the peaks, valleys, and years since Mom’s passing – has been a master class in friendship and love.
I thought about my own friendships, I mean my very closest ones not all of my acquaintances. Each of them has significant issues to face right now. I was praying for one of them specifically when God put John 15:13 on my heart.
“Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one’s life for his friends.” (NKJV)
For a bit of context, in verse 13 is sandwiched between Jesus commanding us to love one another as He loved us and saying we are His friends when we do as He commanded. He doesn’t beat around the bush about it. Real love and real friendships don’t happen without some self-sacrifice.
I have always just thought of that as death, but that’s at the same time too simple and too grandiose. On the daily, to love in this way means sacrifice. Will we sacrifice our lives when our friends need us? Will we choose to love someone in need ahead of ourselves?
That might look like giving up your restful Friday night at home to help a friend. It might look like rescheduling errands. It might mean a phone call, an invitation to dinner or coffee, or a daily check-in to remind her she is not alone. It might just be physically standing with her while she does a hard thing. It’s going to require that you go out of your way, that you clear more time for her during a season of need, that you remain trustworthy and faithful.
Today I simply want to remind each of us, starting with me, that loving like Jesus commanded means being willing to lay down our lives for our friends. Are you willing? Will you choose a friend in need over today’s schedule?
Will you notice when your friend hasn’t been out in a month? Do you love your friend enough to walk the length of a lifetime and show up for generations of their family? That is what is commanded of us. Your friends need you. If you haven’t yet, you will one day need them in the same way. My experience is that in a true, healthy friendship, it won’t feel like sacrifice. It will feel like love.
