I was fresh back from a morning walk and approaching my front porch when I noticed a grocery bag hanging on the door handle. As I got closer, I realized that it was a container of cottage cheese. I knew in that instant who put it there and why. Don’t worry, it was a cold morning and it hadn’t been there long.
One of my dearest friends and I had been having a conversation the day before. I mentioned that I was out of cottage cheese because the store I had shopped at a few days prior didn’t have any. That wouldn’t normally be important except that I eat cottage cheese for lunch nearly every day. My friend knows that. When she went to the grocery for herself the day after our conversation, she just simply bought me what I needed and delivered it.
This would be a wonderful time to write about friendship because that’s an excellent example of how you do it. I’ve been thinking about it for days. I’ve seen both real life friends and well-known writers and influencers that I follow on the socials post pictures and stories about the importance of strong friendships and spending time with each other. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, your inner circle makes the most difference in your life. Those closest relationships have enormous influence on your life for better or worse. It’s prudent to cultivate and curate who has that type of access to your heart and soul.
However, friendship isn’t what God put on my heart in this case. Rather, kindness. If you follow me on social media or know me personally – at least this grown-up version of me – you know how much I value simple kindness. Let me pause here to say that if you knew the adolescent Robyn or a young adult version of me that had yet to be refined, and I wasn’t kind to you, I am sorry.
Oddly, for as much as kindness matters to me personally, God has not pushed me much to write about it. He did push me to share daily positive posts on social media. A great many of those focus on kindness, and collectively the purpose itself is a kindness in my mind – to be a break and safe space from the negativity, anger, and vitriol too often rampant in such spaces. It is simply to put a good thought in your mind as you scroll by.
Kindness isn’t just a good thing to do if we have time. If you’re a Christian, it shouldn’t be optional. We should be kind all the time. Ephesians 4:32 tells us point blank to be kind to one another. Love is kind, according to 1 Corinthians 13:4.
Proverbs 11:17 (NIV) says, “A kind man benefits himself, but a cruel man brings trouble on himself.” The description of a virtuous wife in Proverbs 31 says the teaching of kindness is on her tongue (ESV) or on her tongue is the law of kindness (NKJV).
If those scriptures aren’t enough to highlight the importance of being kind, Jesus himself lays it out in Luke 6:35-36 (NKJV), “But love your enemies, do good, and lend, hoping for nothing in return; and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Highest. For He is kind to the unthankful and evil. Therefore be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful.”
Don’t misunderstand and think I am using “nice” and “kind” interchangeably. I’ll encourage us all to be nice as much as possible, but there come times when nice doesn’t cut it. I will, however, encourage us to be kind all the time.
According to Merriam-Webster, the adjective form of “kind” means sympathetic or a helpful nature while “nice” means pleasing. There’s a difference between being helpful and pleasing. Being helpful reflects the servant’s heart that Christ displayed for us. There most certainly can be some overlap, but pleasing people isn’t what we’re told to do. Often real kindness is anything but pleasing – at least initially. We are told to be kind. Kindness is an effective tool to reach hearts that need love; hearts that need Jesus.
Let this be a reminder today, especially as we are beginning our approach into another holiday season, to make kindness your default setting. Practice simple acts of kindness like opening doors, sharing encouragement, letting someone go in front of you, and saying “please” and “thank you.” When you’re tempted to call someone a name try offering a compliment instead. You will have diffused a situation and gained an entry point into a heart instead of hardening it.
Practice radical acts of kindness like giving a big tip to the server who got your order wrong, helping someone with a physical or financial burden or offering to babysit so parents can shop, rest, or go on a date. Choose to flip the script and be outrageously and radically kind. You could be the spark that changes a life forever. I guarantee you’ll change yours in the process.
Friends, there are a million ways and opportunities to be kind. Not a single one of those ways is incorrect, misplaced, or wasted. They make a splash in your heart and ripple into eternity. You never know how far hanging a simple container of cottage cheese on someone’s door can go.
