I ate lunch at the kitchen table with my boys today. That is not something I usually do, and today went a long way in reminding me of why. They were loudly slurping their tomato soup (*balls fists, clinches jaw, inhales deeply, questions life choices and reminds them how to eat*) and having a conversation that did not include me. They chose that moment to express their extreme distaste for my lunch of cottage cheese and tomatoes and followed that immediately with the revelation that they believe we must be on a secret television show.
Yes! Parents/guardians of school-age children that must be it. Surely, we are being “Punk’d”! I’m looking for the hidden cameras right now. Obviously, this isn’t real life that we’ve been living. It’s all so very strange this schooling from home and being with just each other nonstop for weeks. Did April really even happen? We are struggling to keep the days straight around here. They all blend together and very little distinguishes them. Today definitely could be yesterday or tomorrow.
I don’t even know if there’s a difference except whether or not they have a grilled cheese or a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch. And even then, there are high odds that mine have had PB&Js three other times each week for the last six weeks. As they say, the struggle is real. Actually, in this house it feels a little like we’re hitting a wall. And like the walls are closing in. Oh, and the boys are sometimes hitting each other. That’s fun and makes all of this much better. It really lifts my spirits.
My kids have been a little Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde while they’ve been home. Maybe I have, too, and don’t realize it. In many ways they have done remarkably well. Better than I expected, especially considering the unique situation they’ve been dropped into. One day they are fine and do their work without question. Well that’s not entirely true. My kids don’t do anything without some questions. They get that totally from me, but I’m not on trial here. The next day, though, it’s like they are brand new. “Why do we have to do work? Why can’t this just be summer vacation? You’re not my real teacher.” Seriously, you all tell me if Ashton Kutcher is nearby.
They are different children and do not work the same. I have one child who just wants to take the quickest route through his work as possible. He’s not interested in putting in any real effort. The other one asks me the answer to about every other question just to see if I will answer it for him. Nope. And around and around we go.
The same can be said for their general behavior. There have been moments in the last six weeks where my husband and I have marveled at how well the two of them have gotten along. They can’t play with their friends, many of whom live in the neighborhood, so they have been forced to play together. But they have also punched each other, called each other names and snitched on each other at every turn. We made an absolute rule that no video games were allowed until 3 p.m. each day and all schoolwork had to be completed first. Every. Single. Day. at 3:01 p.m. they ask if they can play video games.
We have forced them to shower and put on clothes every day. This does not keep them from asking if they can stay in their pajamas and skip the shower. I grow weary of answering the same questions constantly, but I’m trying to hold tight to some bit of routine and normal. We have tried to make sure they do some chores and learn some basic life skills that we otherwise might not have time to work into the schedule – laundry, mowing, some cooking, etc. We’ve also tried to create some special days and events to just break up the monotony and give them some good things to remember about this experience.
That said, I have let them eat more junk food and watch more television than I would like, but I’ve decided to pick my battles. While this is a bit different than my usual writing, my overarching point here is that we are all struggling with at least some of these or similar issues and are in a spot where we just need to pick our battles and move on. Here’s the good news – that is perfectly alright. Your battles do not have to be my battles or anyone else’s. If your kids wear the same pajamas for three days, that’s fine. You do what works for you. That’s how we survive this.
Parents, it’s ok if you’re tired of this. Most of us are tired of it. It has added lots to our daily workload. Fun fact, I’m not trying to “teach” my kids. I know about as much about being an elementary school teacher as I do about being a doctor, understanding constitutional law, planning cities or building rockets – next to nothing. I’m just trying to hold serve. I’m far less interested in teaching them new things than I am in keeping them from losing what they’ve already learned.
My goal (yours might be different) is to make sure they complete their assigned work, wear clean underwear, brush their teeth, get some exercise, eat at least some fruits and vegetables, don’t kill each other and know that their parents and Jesus love them. The rest of it doesn’t make the cut in my big picture. If they watch more tv and play more video games than they normally would for two months, who cares? This isn’t a normal two months.
Hang in there, parents. Summer is coming.
