I’ve prayed a lot for discernment lately. Some days knowing what to do feels a bit overwhelming. Oh, I don’t mean the small daily tasks. Don’t worry, I’m still showering, brushing my teeth and going about as much of my routine business as I can. What I mean is the world is just heavy right now. Every decision feels heavy. Nothing feels like it’s going the right way, and everyone seems angry and ready to snap about something.
Do I really need to make an extra trip to the grocery, or can those three items wait until my next scheduled trip? How much should I let my kids play with other kids? Should we just keep it to the neighborhood kids? Should I allow them in other people’s houses? Or allow other kids in my house? How safe is going to baseball games? When will we feel safe going to a restaurant? How comfortable do I really feel going to church?
My biggest question has been about kids and school. It is a problem without a good solution. Many school systems have released their plans for the upcoming academic year. Most are offering choices between or some combination of in-person and virtual learning. Though some parents don’t have an actual choice. Either way, it has unleashed a burden of decision and concern on parents and guardians everywhere. My heart breaks for the gravity of the situation, the impossibility of a right answer, and for the sheer loss of the normal that we’re all experiencing.
I really want my kids to be in school. I know mine learn much better at school than they do at home – in a normal setting. But it won’t be normal. I don’t know what to expect. Teachers who are already overworked and underpaid are seemingly being asked to do even more but with higher stakes. How much fear and trauma will be stirred up in the minds of young children who have been largely sheltered from opinions outside of those in their own home for months? But is it possible to effectively learn at home while classmates are in the room with the teacher? I find myself very much unsure of the best way forward.
There is no way to make everyone happy. We have to get over that idea, and the idea that anything is fair. We also have to stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about our individual decisions. Everyone has a situation unique to them and must make decisions accordingly. Let’s offer everyone the same grace we would like to receive. This is a hard enough time to parent without the added weight of judgement from people who aren’t walking in your shoes.
So, I continue to pray. God put 2 Timothy 1:7 on my heart. “For God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love and of sound mind.” In some translations, “fear” is replaced with “timidity,” and “sound mind” with “self-discipline” or “self-control.” This has really been gnawing at me. I didn’t start this fire, and I will not be the one ending this fire. I do, however, have to navigate the hot spots. Walking around a blaze does not make me afraid, it makes me of sound mind.
Let’s make decisions not out of fear but based on having a rational mind that can exercise restraint and act out of love for others. Acting out of a spirit of love makes room for others. Let’s not knowingly put others in situations that might cause them to stumble or to fear. Let’s remember that not everyone has the same strength or the same degree of faith – and that’s okay.
Friends, we don’t need to do anything to prove the absence of fear, we just need to live as Jesus asks us to. When we do that, we bear fruit and bring glory to Him. I don’t know yet what decision I will make with my children and school. I am trusting God for guidance, and I will be praying for us all. Praying that we seek God’s direction first; praying for wisdom and discernment; praying that we can navigate the fire without getting burned; praying that we offer each other an abundance of grace in a difficult time. Will you join me?
