I’ve noticed a lot of cracks in the road that I walk on every day. Unless it’s a big pothole, I really don’t think much about them. Earlier this week a particular stretch of the road got my attention enough to take a picture of it. I confess, I thought to myself at the time that there was probably a blog post in it somewhere. Nothing much came to me at the time, but as the week has worn on and life has pressed down on me, God finally revealed it.
This cracking is actually referred to as “fatigue cracking.” It’s interconnected cracks that occur under repeated traffic. I am not going to pretend to be an expert on this topic but basically it happens because the road is doing what it’s supposed to do. Sometimes there can be a structural flaw but often this is simply what happens over time. The cracks then allow moisture infiltration and then it gets rough and can deteriorate into the dreaded pothole.
Fatigue cracking. I feel that deep in my soul when it comes to parenting. I’m not the gambling sort but 10 bucks says you have, too. You’re just parenting the best you can and trying to survive the daily grind. And, you’ve got some fatigue cracking going on. Not a pothole, but you can feel some cracks. I have for sure experienced some fatigue cracking of my own this week.
One of mine has been in a particularly rough stretch for about the last week or two. The other one had his turn before that. It feels like it’s always one of them. I suppose I should be thankful that they both don’t hit their rough patches at the same time but instead I just feel like it’s a never-ending battle. Thus the fatigue. And boy have my crackings been showing this week.
To be clear, I do not feel good about that. Current Mister Guilty has been caught making some bad decisions and then telling lies in an attempt to cover his tracks. In addition, the same party has decided to do some backtalking and a LOT of complaining about his consequences. You guys, shew! I am fatigue cracking all over the place.
Discipline is a must. I know. God is super duper clear about that both in parenting and where individual Christians are concerned. The Bible tells us to train up a child in the way it should go and when he’s old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). It tells that discipline is painful at the time but later on produces a harvest of righteousness and peace (Hebrews 12:11). So that’s something to look forward to.
However, as much as I love to look forward to the promises of God (and some days that’s all that sustains me), my fatigue cracking is happening today. I read versus like Colossians 3:21, “Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged” and then I get discouraged. Have I been too mean? Have I gone too far and discouraged them? Have I yelled too much? Did I discipline the appropriate amount? Did I break his spirit and should I offer an apology? Have a waited too long? See! Fatigue cracking.
So, I’m left searching for the proper way to repair this cracking before the devil gets in and creates a pothole. And we all know how long and hard it is to get a pothole fixed. Here’s what God has shown me, 1 Thessalonians 5: 16-18, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
Does that make you feel instantly better? No? I didn’t think so. It didn’t me either. But then I pondered it a while and a couple thoughts took shape. Pray continually. I’ve heard this so much that sometimes it doesn’t seem to mean anything. But today I’m reminded that in the middle of my frustrations, I can pray. When I’m worried that I’ve gone too far or not far enough, I can pray. When I want to cry (I totally can), and I can pray. This doesn’t mean I have to take to my knees in my closet. In fact, parents of young children please don’t do that while they’re home or they may burn your house down. Just whispering the name of Jesus in the moment is good enough.
This was followed by giving thanks in all circumstances. So, God was anticipating all of these moments of frustration and cracking. He said ALL circumstances. What if I chose to stop and give thanks that the said child lied about something that is ultimately trivial therefore giving us the chance to fix the lying issue before it becomes a big deal? What if I gave thanks for my healthy child who completely acts his age? What if I gave thanks for that little human who trusts me for everything and still, even after his punishments, wants to hug me and say, “I love you, Mommy?” Giving thanks is an elixir that cures a multitude of issues.
Yesterday, my cracks were showing. I had a headache and was frustrated about something else altogether, and yelled at him when I shouldn’t have. This child used part of his ongoing punishment time to write me a note reminding me of how I always encourage him and he will do the same for me because he loves me. I told him I was sorry. He said, “It’s OK, I have rough days, too. I’ve had a lot of them lately.”
Well that made the moisture leak right out of my eyes. I think that moisture though, is the kind that might seal some fatigue cracking. At least on the roads of parenting. Fellow fatigued parents, inhale, exhale, whisper a prayer, give thanks, keep going. Your work is so very important.
