I don’t want to brag but I found 31 cents while doing laundry today. At this rate, I might be able to buy myself something really nice by the end of the month. And by really nice I totally mean a cup of coffee.
I suppose this could be an awkward subject to talk about, but that’s never stopped me before. So I’m not working for a paycheck right now. This has happened gradually, and it’s absolutely not something I’m comfortable with. However, it is also something I’m absolutely certain God is asking of me right now. I don’t know for how long.
It’s hard for me to not be earning a paycheck. I always feel like it would disappoint my Mom. This is absolute transparency here, friends. She’s been gone for 11 years and I’m still trying to guess at what would please or upset her. This is dumb, and it’s clearly one of my flaws. I’m working on it. It’s financially risky in today’s world to put all of that burden at my husband’s feet. It’s just different. I’m not used to it, and I’m trying to figure it out.
Let me pause here to say that I am strongly, strongly in the camp of you do what works for you and your family and what you believe God is leading you to do. He doesn’t want us all to do the same thing. I don’t believe there’s a one-size-fits-all blueprint that applies. What I have come to believe through life changes and much prayer is that, for right now at least, God wants me to learn to trust Him. That means giving up control of something.
Trust is difficult, but He’s been working on me pretty hard lately. In all sorts of ways, He’s been telling me to let go of my plans and trust His. One of those is writing these blog posts. Each time that I struggle thinking that I should be working for my business, He sends me other purposes.
I’m reminded of that quote that says some people are so poor all they have is money. God is telling me that my real treasure has zero to do with money or what it can buy. Jesus is my treasure. My husband and boys are my treasure. My good friends are my treasure. I am wealthy beyond measure. Even though I struggle to see it on some days, that is doing work of lasting value. I feel like I’m swimming upstream in a world that keeps telling me that happiness is found by accumulating more and, if necessary, being mean or taking it away from someone else.
No. Just no. I will stand out on this limb by myself if need be. Perhaps that’s how I can change my world. So, what if I trusted God, invested in my family and supported my friends who are traveling rocky roads? What if I did this with prayer, time, listening and loving? What would happen if I stopped concerning myself with what the world thinks about my decisions? What if I quit thinking about how I’m not currently contributing to a 401K? What if I just say “Yes” to God and see where He leads me?
For some reason that I don’t know, God has put me in the position to focus on my treasures (though I can assure you, it has come at cost that I will not be explaining here). I still fret thinking how that doesn’t impress the utility companies or carry any weight at the grocery store. But God continues to remind me not to worry. He shows me Matthew 6:25-34, which essentially says if God takes care of the birds, the lilies and the grass, He will most certainly take care of me.
Verse 33 specifically says, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.” I’ve lost track of how many times in just the last few weeks that through a devotion, a sermon, a book, a song, a friend, that I’ve gotten the message to just seek God. Friends I don’t know if I’m chasing Him or He is chasing me, but I know He’s up to something. He’s pushing me out of my comfort zone.
If He’s pushing you out of yours, let Him. Let’s find out together what amazing things happen when we trust and obey Him.
If you’ve made it to the bottom of this post, know that I believe God wants me to use my view to keep pumping my family, my tribe and you full of hope and encouragement and pushing us all toward Him. I’m going to do it like it’s my paying job until He tells me to do something else.
